Chasing the Wild Goose

As I sit here listening to the tromping and hammering of roofers replacing my hail-beaten roof, the one that will only belong to me for 10 more days, and with the inocuous smell of cardboard filling my nostrils and with the faint sounds of Angry Birds cackling, squawking, and crashing down snowy boards on the iPad, I’m contemplating whether I should be brewing coffee, packing dishes, creating graphics for a client, or typing a message to my friends around the world about the fact that all of this is happening and why.

Obviously, I’ve opted for the latter.  I have procrastinated this duty for quite some time, mainly because I have procrastinated it for quite some time.  See, if I had been keeping my peeps all over the world (and mostly the South) in the loop all through this journey, I wouldn’t have such a big long story to tell.  But, it has been such an arduous journey, and so much of it intensely personal and spiritual and just plain MYSTERIOUS, that I haven’t felt the liberty to discuss it publicly.

Even after Bill’s announcing his decision to our church in May that he would be resigning his position as church business administrator here in Altus, Oklahoma, I still was not ready to talk with the masses about this journey that we are on and about the fact that we are choosing to uproot from our 8-year-deep plot of friendships and community to move across the country in the absence of another job or ministry position or any other “official” and socially acceptable reason for doing so.

It is still a very mysterious journey, and though it is more real now that the house is sold, the boxes are packed, and the whole world knows about it, we STILL don’t have all the answers to the questions waiting to roll off your fingers into the comment box.  I wish we did, because, honestly, they are very good and very important questions to which we would like to have answers.  They are questions that, left unanswered at this point in our journey, have most certainly caused others to question our sanity and good judgment.

The long and short of it is this.  Over the past few months (or years?), we have felt God urging us to “GO.”  But for a long time He never said WHERE or WHAT.  Through a series of circumstances, we discovered a little town called Helena, Alabama that we believed was the place we were to go next.  While we have some personal reasons for this exact location, the biggest reason we chose Helena is the WILD GOOSE  led us there.

Celtic Christians referred to the Holy Spirit as “Ah Geadh-Glas”, or the Wild Goose.  I’m not going into the history or beliefs there (Google it), but we can testify that we have been on a Wild Goose Chase for the last several months.  Some of our questions have been: How…?  When…?  But what if…?  But how…?  We still have lots of hows and what-ifs.

“So what are you going to do?” you are asking.  What is Bill’s job?  What is your job?  Do you have family there?  And to that I say, we are closer to family, and I do have an aunt and uncle there, but we are still chasing the Wild Goose to find out how we will make a living.  Our plan at this time is for the two of us to work together in my web design business.  (Anybody need a website????)  But the truth of the matter is, we don’t know for a fact that the Lord plans for us to do that.  We are still walking in faith, on an invisible bridge, much like the one in Indiana Jones, and we are absolutely 100% depending on God to show us our next step before we take it.  I should be inserting a bunch of scriptures here about the promises of God that we have been reading and CLINGING to over the past few months, but coffee and boxes are calling.  If you’re a believer, you know these scriptures.  If you’re not, message me, because we need to talk about life lived on the Wild Goose chase, and how absolutely, incredibly satisfying, amazing, and breathtaking of a journey that it is.

So…we are moving to Helena, Alabama next week.  We close on our new unbelievable-provision-from-God house (which leaves the most awesome story I need to tell) on the day after we close on this house (which is also another story-teller), and, unless unforeseen circumstances prevent all of this from happening, (and we’ve already lost one nearly-purchased house in the deal), we will have a new, oh-so-Southern address by next Friday.  As for the rest of our plans for our very, frighteningly near future, YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE!!  :D   And I am jump-up-and-down excited about it.

Spring for a Fresh New Website

Hi there and hello from my home office!  When I gaze outside at the red tips and see the crepe myrtles trying to sneak out some leaves, I’m reminded that despite the cold weather that has returned, spring is still here!  Since it’s time for spring cleaning, spring planting, and all other things spring, I’d say it’s time to spring for a new website!

Recent Websites by Main Street Studio

The last few months have found me very busy here in the studio, and I’ve even trained my handsome husband on website setups to help me stay ahead of the game.  If you check out my work website, SitesOnMain.com, you’ll find a series of posts that I’m rolling out over the next few days that show the websites we’ve launched over the past few months.  I’m sorry to say that I seldom keep up with my work and personal blogging, but I am aiming to do a better job at that.

Main Street Studio

You will also find that I’ve changed the name of my company slightly.  I have to be honest, though, and tell you that I’m not exactly sure if it’s going to stay that same name.  We’re considering some lofty goals here in the studio, and we’re trying to determine the best name for the company that encompasses all that we want to do.  “Main Street Studio” leaves the door open for more than just “web development”, but I just don’t know at this point.

I thought I’d share with you a few of the sites we’ve built lately, and then I want to tell you about our new line of websites we offer.

Perhaps the site I identify with the most is ReannaLily Designs.  Jen Eskridge, a pattern and quilt designer (and now author!), hired us to give her tired site an overhaul.  I didn’t take a “before” screenshot, but I think you’ll enjoy her new e-commerce site!  I got a little carried away visiting her links and reading her blog, and the whole project resulted in a sewing spree of my own.  And not only that, but her referral at a quilting forum brought in Dena Mehling of Trail Ridge Design, LLC, my very first out-of-state client who was a complete stranger.  Dena and I are in the process of building out her e-commerce site.  If you visit it now, you’ll see the before in action.

Some of our other projects:

Entrepreneur Websites

And then I have one other bit of news I mentioned earlier.  We are now offering Entrepreneur Websites, specially designed to accommodate the needs of starter businesses that want an affordable website that packs a professional punch.  Now, to be frank, I believe our Small Business Websites are still in the entrepreneur price range.  But for those that need an even lower start-up cost, we’ve opened up a new option with the Entrepreneur Websites.  With the basic entrepreneur template, we customize the background with a color or image and make the menu bar match.  Then we can design a custom header or use one that you create.

As always, Main Street Studio is available to customize your website to the hilt.  If you desire a fully custom built solution, we can do that for you.  But in this economy, we’re finding that people would rather save their dollars where they can, and we are aiming to provide the same professional websites to those who want to maximize their advertising budgets.

WE Inspire Conference

On March 30th, Main Street Web Development attended the first annual Women Entrepreneurs Inspire Conference in Oklahoma City.  With a goal of 400 attendees, the Oklahoma State University Riata Center for Entrepreneurship outdid themselves with an attendance of over 650 women entrepreneurs!  Talk about exciting!!  I’m here to tell you that the future of America was sitting all in one room that Tuesday.  I’ve been to lots of conferences in my various fields of study, and I’ve never been to a more motivating venue.

The conference was not full of hype and marketing hogwash that fills the typical marketing conference, however.  It was real women telling real stories of how they rose from average to extraordinary in their careers.  It was real women sitting around me living the true American dream of creating their own jobs and jobs for other people out of their sheer determination and persistence.

Listen to this line up of some of the main speakers:

  • Shannon Carter, who launched Crayons to Computers, a free school supply store for teachers that is now found in 41 cities around the country
  • Cordia Harrington, “The Bun Lady”, founder, CEO, and president of the Tennessee Bun Company, who supplies buns to national chains such as McDonald’s, Chili’s, and Pepperidge Farm.  She also founded several other hugely thriving companies.
  • Maxine Clark, founder of Build-A-Bear Workshop® and winner of many, many prestigious awards
  • Dian Stai, founder of Owen Healthcare, and perhaps my favorite speaker of all, for her bravery to take her company forward when all the odds were against her

Both of the breakout sessions I attended were led by Dr. Michael Morris, the N. Malone Mitchell Chair in Entrepreneurship at OSU and head of the new School of Entrepreneurship at OSU.  Dr. Morris taught sessions on “Guerilla Marketing: Radical Thinking is the Key” and “Types of Ventures and Types of Entrepreneurs: Knowing Where You are Going”.  Both of these sessions gave me valuable insight into my own goals and plans and how I can best go about accomplishing them.

Attending the WE Inspire conference gave me a new appreciation for networking.  I’ve always believed in networking–establishing relationships with people outside of my usual circles for our mutual benefit and future potential.  But I’ve never before realized so much potential in once place for women that I truly need to have in my life both now and in the future.  I met people like Emily Ginn, a virtual assistant, who I might need to call on for administrative work in the future; Amy Morgan, a corporate training consultant and fellow web designer, with whom I am discussing business processes with; Jami Cervantes, a health insurance representative, who gave me some very valuable advice about health insurance for small business owners; Shea Alexander, an artist, designer, and crafter who is starting her own business sewing handmade items.  And the list goes on.  When I signed up for the conference, I thought I was signing up for good conference speakers and a chance to market my product.  I had no idea I would walk away with relationships I intend to keep for the rest of my life.

My friends and fellow entrepreneurs Christa Murphy, Jenni McCadams, and Cara Perez joined me as I set up a table for the Networking Reception.  I seriously could not have done this without them.  We joked on the way there: “Main Street Web Development.  Have awning, will travel.” Bill designed and built an awning frame for the event, and I designed a pattern and sewed the canopy for it.  It was a marvelously fun project, and it really made the table look more look like a little storefront.  MSWD is not located on Main Street, but the clients we are aiming to reach are those small businesses that are typically located on Main Street in any Smalltown, U.S.A.  We want to give small businesses a chance to have great-looking websites in a price-range they can afford.  But I digress.  At our booth, we had the 24” iMac scrolling through our portfolio and theme gallery, and it garnered lots of attention from passersby, as did the FREE WEBSITE GIVEAWAY we offered for those who gave us their contact information.  Very few people turned down the opportunity to win a free website.  We even gave extra chances to win for those who did homework, like becoming a fan on Facebook, linking to our website, etc.

And that brings me to the original point of this article–the WINNER.  Join me in congratulating Mary Jane Maness, a Broker with Heartland Realty & Consulting, LLC.  Mary Jane is a delightful lady, and she does NOT have a website at all, so we are absolutely thrilled to give her the opportunity to get a free website for a whole year.  What a great way to start the spring!  Thank you to everyone who participated in the contest.

The WE Inspire Conference was a very profitable and enjoyable event, and we at Main Street Web Development look forward to next year’s event.  If you live in Oklahoma and aspire to be an entrepreneur, you definitely won’t want to miss it.

In the News

Main Street Web Development was featured in the first edition of The Altus Aviator today.  Here’s what The Aviator had to say:

McKelvey offers affordable websites

“The DigiFix Web Design Studio, the answer for Altus businesses seeking affordable internet presence, has just made personal web design even more inexpensive.

“Heather McKelvey, founder and executive director, says the web sites are easy to use and easy to find.  She is announcing her latest endeavor, Main Street Web Development, where websites can be created for less than $30 a month.

“‘I basically offer a broad range of services, from affordable theme-based websites to high-end custom designed websites,’ said McKelvey.

“‘The websites have everything from e-commerce to real estate listings and everything in between,’ continued McKelvey.

“The Digifix offers an Identity and Branding package as well.  With the package, the customer receives a logo and stationary visually consistent with the website.  ‘Once the website is complete, we hand you your business cards, letterheads and envelopes right along with your website,’ McKelvey said.

“Some of the local websites McKelvey has designed include:

  • enchanteddoorgifts.com
  • altuschristian.org
  • gallagherorthopedics.com
  • fbcaltus.org
  • discoveraltus.com

“More information is available at sitesonmain.com, thedigifix.com or you can email info@sitesonmain.com or info@thedigifix.com or call 580-471-1745.”

Now how’s that for kicking off a new product launch?

Introducing Main Street Web Development

Cheap websites are a dime a dozen.  There are plenty of places on the web you can go to get a website for just a few bucks a month.  Problem is, they’re kind of ugly.  And if, indeed, you do happen across one that really looks great, you have to do it yourself!  Now for do-it-yourself kind of folks, this is a good proposition.  But for those of you who don’t want any website DIY in your life, you’re kind of up a creek if you don’t want to make the initial investment a custom website requires.

With my home-based custom web business, The DigiFix Web Design Studio, I have realized this conundrum for quite some time, and I’ve been working on a solution that acts like a “crossover” website.  With our new line of websites at Main Street Web Development, we are taking the affordable price of a DIY website, the fabulous creativity of a custom website, and DOING IT FOR YOU, to bridge that gap between what you want and what you can afford.

Getting a website has never been easier!  First of all, we schedule a Setup Session with you.  In this Setup Session, we meet you where you are to discuss all of the features you want in your website.  If you don’t happen to live in the Southwest Oklahoma/North Texas area, we can even have our Setup Session by phone, email, or webmeeting.  We help you select an available domain name, and we ask you the right questions to find out just what information you want to include.  Then we help you choose a pre-designed theme that gives you just the look you want.  And that’s all you have to do!  Once we get back to the studio, we set up your website, professionally write your content, and give you a call when it’s ready to view.

For all of this personal, one-on-one service, you’d expect a high price tag.  But our $99.95 setup fee is all you pay to have your own personal web consultant at your beckon call.  We have month-to-month subscription plans, so you can choose the plan that works best for you and upgrade, downgrade, or cancel at any time.  There is no commitment required.  Prices this low make it affordable to have a website for yourself and your business.

And one more thing–we’re always glad to update your website for you.  Our Upgrade Plan comes with three updates a month.  But if you want to save some money and update it yourself, you’ll find the control panel extremely easy to use, and we’ll gladly show you how to use it up close and in person.

Help us spread the word about Main Street Web Development!  Every business needs a website, and now it’s even easier than ever to get one.

The Relevance of Christmas

I’ve a grown a bit weary of the frivolities of Christmas.  Cheap strings of lights on houses, larger-than-life candy canes lining driveways, Santa posing for kids’ photos in the mall, junk mail with pictures of shiny red bows on tools offering “More Christmas”…the list goes on and on.  All of these things that modern marketing techniques now leverage to benefit our sacred economy threaten to distract us from the real reason we celebrate Christmas.  I know, I know, we hear it every year.  Jesus is the Reason for the Season.  So if that’s the case, than why isn’t He the Focus of the Season?  Why do we pour so much energy into decorating our houses and buying gifts yet almost overlook worshiping Him?

Perhaps it is because Jesus’ birthday seems irrelevant to our daily lives.  All believers agree that it’s wonderful that God sent His son to earth as a baby to live a sinless life and be crucified on the cross so that all who confess their wrongdoing and believe in Him can have eternal life with Him in heaven.  This fact alone should be enough to bring us to our knees in worship of our Creator.  But the reality is that we have heard it so many times, it has become commonplace information in our minds.  Maybe you are above the numbness of which I speak, but I am sad to say that often I am not.  When I hear the Gospel spoken, many times it goes in one ear and out the other, and I take for granted the sacrifice Jesus paid so that I may live.

Similarly, when December rolls around yet again, I find myself shopping for gifts, decorating the house, and taking the time to flip through all the toy catalogs that come in the mail, even though I’ve seen them all twice, with barely a thought toward the virgin-born spotless Lamb of God for which all of this seasonal hooplah originated.  And I think it all goes back to the thought of Jesus as a baby in a manger with cows mooing, and horse-tails swooshing, and stars twinkling silently in the dark, damp night.  This nativity scene which we celebrate, though it should bring a tremendous moment of worship for those who believe, seems like just a moment in history.  A tired mom and dad, a brand-new baby, and lots of hay and animals.  What does that have do, really, with my daily life and my daily struggles?

I’m not sure that I can express in a clear manner the thoughts that began swirling in my mind this morning, but I’m going to try.  Upon hearing the news of a local girl who died of cancer yesterday, just two years after her mother died of cancer, leaving her older sister and disabled father hurting yet again, thoughts of pain and death and loss and grief keep crowding out the thoughts of what I need to be doing today.  Names and faces of people I have known or heard of who have recently died or who are enduring painful trials even now keep making their way forward in my thoughts, and I am faced with the reality that God allows suffering.  God could stop disease and death.  He could.  But He doesn’t.  It’s the biggest question perhaps any of us have ever had about God.  Why doesn’t He just let us live and be happy?  I don’t know.  I trust Him anyway.  I know that He uses suffering to draw us closer to Himself, to bring more glory to Himself, to make us stronger and purer, but I still can’t reckon it in my mind.  All I can do is trust.  As I started contemplating these thoughts this morning, I asked God why.  Why did He create this broken world?  Why doesn’t He fix it?  Why does He keep letting innocent people suffer?  Why do we have to hurt?  How can such a perfect, holy God create something that is now so far from perfection and holiness?  My questions aren’t answered and perhaps never will be.  But God did respond.  “The world wasn’t broken when I created it,” He reminded me.  It broke the day sin entered the world.  It broke the day Adam and Eve disobeyed.  Pain, hard work, suffering, and death–they all started with sin.  A person’s suffering may not be a direct result of a particular sin, or even of a life of sin, but suffering itself is a result of sin.

So if we were born into sin through Adam (and forgive me for not researching Bible verses to support this at the moment), then we were born hopeless, and we can’t do good.  So sin continues.  Suffering continues.  And that’s when the relevancy of Christmas hit me this morning.  God sent His son to earth as a baby–a baby fully human and born into a sinful world–and yet that baby grew into a boy, a teenager, and a man, who did not do wrong.  Ever.  He did not sin.  Did not disobey.  Did not talk disrespectfully to His parents, did not push the boundaries that were set, did not tell a fib, or spread a rumor, or thumb His nose at authority.  Jesus did not sin.  And yet He was tempted, which meant that when disobedience was offered to Him as a choice, something inside of Him felt an inclination to do that wrong thing, and He had to make a conscious decision to do what was right.  If that is not the case, than I must misunderstand what temptation really is.  But if my understanding of temptation is correct, than Jesus proved that it is entirely possible for us as humans to always choose obedience.  He did it.  He was born of a man, (well really a woman), yet He managed to live His entire life making only good choices.  So then the baby in the manger is no longer irrelevant to our present daily struggles.  The baby in the manger is HOPE.  Hope is more than wishful thinking.  Hope is being sure of what we know to be true.  We know that God has given us every thing we need for life through His Holy Spirit, and the baby in the manger who grew up to live a pure, holy life gives us HOPE that we can do the same thing.  While we know that nothing we can do can establish our relationship with the Father besides the blood of Jesus, and we know that Romans 3:23 tells us, “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God,” we can at the same time, stand confident knowing that baby Jesus in the manger gives us hope that we can accept the forgiveness God offers to us and begin to make right choices to honor Him from here on out.

Pain and suffering will continue.  And they are perhaps magnified during the Christmas season.  But maybe you and I can let the lights and the festivities and the music direct our thoughts toward the baby in the manger that gives us hope–hope that we have Someone to run to when the hurt goes deep; hope that we can be forgiven just by believing in Him; hope that we can honor Him by making good choices; hope that endures longer than the passing of time; hope that is completely relevant to our daily lives.

I’ve got some more thinking to do.  Because, despite my desire to not be distracted by seasonal goings-on, I still put lights in my yard, gifts under the tree, and icing on homemade cookies.  I love doing those things, and I love the sweet memories Christmas music and traditions bring about.  Christmas, while it’s truly about the hope Jesus brought to earth, is also synonymous with warm fuzzy feelings and precious family time.  I want to continue my own Christmas traditions in such a way that they magnify the true meaning of Christmas rather than deter from it, and I want to express the Hope of Christmas to my children so that they recognize the true meaning of these traditions.

Working from Home

Last night I let the kids stay up late coloring at the coffee table while I sat on the couch proofing my latest web project.  Most of my work I do after they go to bed, but on this Christmas vacation schedule, we’re not so pressed to get them to bed at a reasonable hour.  When they’re occupied every now and then, I’ll pick up the computer and do a little work.

After a few minutes of my chatting, working, coloring, working, watching a video online, then working some more, Will was curious about my work.  “Mom,” he asked, “do you have to do that?”

“Well…no, I don’t have to.  But I make money when I do,” I answered.

“How do you make money when nobody sees you do it?” he asked.

I could just see his little wheels turning, trying to process how Daddy has to leave the house to go to work, but Mommy can just sit around and “play” on the computer and still earn a paycheck.  I explained to him that people could see the work that I do on their own computers.  He totally got that, because he likes to play games online himself.

It is really, really cool to be able to work from home on a freelance schedule.  I would imagine that there are lots of folks out there that would love to be able to earn income whenever they want to just by sitting down to the computer.  It does have it’s cons, though.  Not all of the work I do produces income, and none of it is steady.  I can’t budget from my job or rely on it, because I maintain it at an arm’s length.  I do that on purpose, because managing my household is my main priority, and I choose to spend my daylight hours with my children and other household duties rather than working.  That means that any down time I have in the late evenings takes away from my work hours.  That’s okay, though.  I could change the way I work at any time, but I really like treating it as a bonus.  It’s something that fills in the gaps of my schedule and allows me to earn extra income when I really need it, without causing me undue stress and grief in order to get everything done.

The pros of my job?  I LOVE it.  (Except for the mundane tasks, of which there are plenty.) I only do it when I want to.  When the kids are out of school, I get to sleep late and stay home with them, and it doesn’t interfere with my work schedule.  In fact, it helps it, since I can stay up later.  I can do my work from anywhere, and I usually do a little while on vacation.  (That’s a con too.) And most of all, the sky is the limit on what I could do with it.  Given enough time, creativity, and elbow grease, I could earn a small fortune.  I probably never will, at least not while the kids are little, but the potential is there.  And that dream in itself is reason enough to keep me going.

The DigiFix Web Design Studio

I want to introduce you to my new company, The DigiFix Web Design Studio. I have been dreaming and planning for nearly two years about starting this company, and after much ado, the time has finally come to launch The DigiFix.

Over the past few years of designing websites freelance for various clients, I have come to realize the vast need for affordable, yet beautiful web solutions. So many small businesses and individuals truly desire to have a great-looking, easy-to-use websites, but they just can’t justify spending what it takes to get an elite design agency to do it for them. And let’s face it–those inexpensive build-it-yourself web companies can still be overwhelming, and finding one you can trust that has good-looking templates takes a whole lot of effort. There seems to be no middle ground.

My vision for The DigiFix is to provide an EASY way for people to get FABULOUS websites with personal, first class service, without spending their life’s savings. I’ve created a process that I believe can do just that. You can read more about it at www.thedigifix.com.

As many of you know, web and graphic design was not my major in college. It’s just something I have fallen in love with since moving out to the western plains of Oklahoma. I’ve always dreamed of turning my favorite hobby into my dream job, and it seems as though that is quite what is happening. I have felt God’s hand in this journey from the very beginning, over four years ago. On my first week of business, I started out meeting with two clients and getting the ball rolling for their websites. The business is really taking off fast, and I can’t wait to see where the Lord leads from here.

Me, a Music Teacher?

I’ve never been a school teacher in my life.  I’ve never even wanted to be a school teacher.  My college degree was not in music, although I did probably spend enough time in the music building at Louisiana Tech as an accompanist to have earned one there.  And I didn’t know a thing about how to create a comprehensive music curriculum for Kindergarten through fourth grade.  So I was pretty dumbfounded when the principal of Will’s preschool asked to me to be the music teacher THE WEEK BEFORE SCHOOL STARTED.  With NO curriculum.

God Provides

I didn’t really have time to say yes.  But with Will’s 5-day-a-week preschool tuition not really finding a place in the already jam-packed budget, I couldn’t really justify not taking the position.  And I felt a strange sense that God was giving this to me as a means to provide for our needs as well as the needs of the school children.  It’s funny that He very seldom just drops the money we need right out of the sky.  We usually have to work very hard for it.  But he does ALWAYS provide the work.

God Equips

So I embarked upon the challenging journey of becoming a music teacher, trusting that God would qualify me since He had first called me.  He always does that, you know.  He takes completely incapable people and molds them into useful tools to accomplish His greater purposes.  While I still don’t consider myself a qualified or trained music educator, I do see God giving me just what I need, in terms of resources, knowledge, and patience, to build a musical foundation in all 53 children at the Christian academy.  He doesn’t give me any more than I need, but He doesn’t give me any less either.

The Best Teacher

While I have zero training in music education, I do have a whole bunch of musical experiences from which to draw my lesson plans.  For one thing, I watched the WORLD’S BEST MUSIC DIRECTOR every Sunday of my childhood.  My dad put on some musical concerts and dramas like you’ve never seen before–Easter Passion plays with sets so real they took you to Golgotha, Singing Christmas Trees filled with choir members and highly programmed lights that danced with every song, Fourth of July Spectaculars with full orchestras and balloon launches at the end.  You name it, he’s done it.

The Christmas Concert

So the night before our school’s Christmas concert, I was calling my dad up to find out how to conduct a choir in 3/4 time.  I’ve got 4/4 down pat.  I practiced it when I was a kid.  But that 3/4 evaded me completely.  (That’s when the measure has 3 beats.) And I really wished for a Tuxedo with tails (or a formal dress), a string section warming up, and a lighted baton the night of the concert.  Really I had on a denim skirt and a red sweater and nothing but my bare hand to conduct, but in my mind, the event was just as grand as one of Jim Faull’s productions.

The kids did a phenomenal job with their singing, speaking parts, choreography, and mini-drama.  They even wore flash gloves that were red on one side and white on the other to make the choreography even more impressive (like back in my pep squad days with the Chaparrals.) I was so proud of them, and I think the parents were too.  It totally amazed me to see my feeble attempts turned into a beautiful choir by God himself.

I still don’t know much about how to teach a music class.  And I still don’t have time to do it.  But one day and one lesson plan at a time, God is teaching me that He really doesn’t need my time or knowledge anyway.  He’s got it covered.

The Nightly Collapse

I did it again.  I do it every night.  And every night I try to talk myself out of it.  In four brief seconds from the time I close the kids’ bedroom door to the time I round the corner and reach the guest bed, I manage an entire conversation with myself arguing for and against the urge to collapse on the bed.

The conversation goes something like this:  “Do NOT lie down on the bed.  You have WAY too much to do.” “But I have to.  I’m SOOO tired.  Who cares anyway?  This is ridiculous.  Nobody in their right mind would be working these kind of hours.” “You have to get to work.  You’ve already outlined tonight’s work for Client X.  If you don’t do it tonight, you’ll start out tomorrow behind.” “Client X doesn’t care anyway.  What’s one more day?” “Fine, lie down then.  Just do it.  Then see how you feel.”

And I almost always feel worse.  Then I lie there and continue the conversation with myself about which housekeeping chores can wait ‘til tomorrow and which ones I will hate myself for leaving undone.  If I am really on top of things, I will have already picked up the living room disaster, cleaned the kitchen, and folded the laundry.  But unfortunately, that day would be an exception to the rule.

At just 7:30pm, or sometimes as late as 8:30, I already feel as though I’ve been hit by a train.  By the time I get the kids in the bed to stay, I’m too tired to think about anything, much less do anything.  So when I see the big white bed calling, I just cannot resist the urge to lie down.  It doesn’t help that it is two feet away from the computer desk.  I almost always intend to sit down in the desk chair, but I seldom actually make it that far.  Two feet is a lot to ask after all that I go through in a day’s time.

But on the average night, I talk myself into getting up, fixing a cup of hot chocolate or tea, and settling down to a nice evening of computer radiation.  And I’m always glad I did.  The late night work really keeps me going.  And indeed the very occasion to choose whether or not I work is a blessing in and of itself.  I mean, really.  I don’t have to do any of this.  My clients don’t mind waiting for me.  (If they did, they wouldn’t hire me in the first place.) I could just sit and watch TV if I really wanted to.  Or not.

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