As if on cue, the rain began falling as I tucked my children into bed this evening. Last year at this moment in time I wrote an article about The Night Before School. I was a bit bleary-eyed at the thought of losing my sweet children to the school room for nine months. This year, however, this moment in time is much more significant. It’s the night before kindergarten for my younger child. It is, in fact, the last night before kindergarten I ever plan to have.
The rain seems to be gently washing away the baby phase of my life. Even though it already seems long gone, Hunter’s kindergarten year is officially ending the days of spit up and diapers, baby food and naptimes, and Little People and the Wiggles filling each day. I am now entering an entirely new phase–one that I have yet to experience. I am a work-at-home mom with no kids at home. I invite you to join me in a moment of silence as we let that thought sink in. I repeat: no kids at home.
Once upon a time I went to college. I fell in love with my husband the year before I graduated. We married the summer of graduation and moved to seminary where I worked full-time to put him through a 3-year master’s degree. Baby came just in time for that diploma, and we headed off to Oklahoma where I entered the ranks of stay-at-home moms purely by choice. It was a guilty-feeling choice at times, but I cherished the time I had my with my little one all to myself. I quickly discovered, however, that staying home was more difficult and tiresome than going to work. My days became filled with the needs and wants of other people, leaving little, if any, time for myself.
Then Baby #2 came along, and I went back to work. From home, that is. I began working from home when she was still an infant; I cleaned up spit up and crumbs all day, then worked late into the night. I never planned for it to happen that way; life just found me too driven to leave my career pursuits entirely unused while chasing little people around all day. Staying up until the wee hours or getting up before the sun became my safe and quiet place where I could still pursue some me-time apart from my mommy-time.
But let’s not get too cream-coated about it. As the years have progressed, and my business has blossomed, and my kids sleep less than before, working from home has become terribly difficult. Every day for the last several years has been dominated by acrobatics and spinning plates. Several client emails, phone calls, and work tasks each day have intermingled with meal times, homework, ball games and preschool pick-up. I wouldn’t trade it all for the world. And if I had found myself having to give up anything, you can bet your bottom dollar it wouldn’t be time with my kids. That took first priority over client-work. But wow. I’m tired. And I’m sorry to say I did it all to the neglect of my house and my body. (And yes, I would do it again.)
But here, on this day, I find myself preparing to embark on an exciting adventure in my motherhood. As I drive away from the school tomorrow, no doubt in a puddle of tears, I will be entering new territory in my life. I will return home to enter a household that is frighteningly quiet for seven whole hours at once. Every day. And if all I had done for the past seven years was raise children and clean house, I would probably be quite forlorn. But I’ve done more than that. I’ve given my all every single hour of every single day. I haven’t watched the first sit-com in a decade. I only slept in past 7:30am for the very first time in nearly a decade THIS SUMMER. I’ve given 150% to my family, to my church, and to my clients, and now I finally have time to celebrate…er, ummmm…time to clean up the last seven years worth of clutter and grime from every corner of my house.
My to-do list for the next few weeks is a MILE long. No kidding. I have just begun to start making a list of all the lists I need to make in order to catch up from everything I have failed to do over the last seven years. I am sorry to report that my seemingly super-human efforts at working from home did not have super-human results. My kids are happy, healthy, and well-fed, and my clients are satisfied and with me for the long-haul. But my HOUSE. Oh, my house. And my body. Oh, my body. Let’s just say I have a lot of work to do.
And I have seven hours a day to do it.
