The tears took me by surprise last year when I saw Will off to his first day of kindergarten. I had so looked forward to having some relief from the constant entertainment I must provide to keep his smart little wheels turning. I remembered my mom telling me how she had cried the day I went to kindergarten, then on other monumental years as well. But I thought I had conquered that crying business last year. After all, we’re seasoned elementary parents now, with a big first-grader in the family, right?
This isn’t a real good time to be writing an article like this, since I’d rather not have red eyes before Bill and I head off for dinner to celebrate our ninth anniversary. But I have a few moments of peace, a cup of coffee, and a heart that is brimming over with emotions just as sure as my eyes are brimming with tears. I just have to take a few minutes to let some of them pour out on the computer keyboard–the emotions that is. I’d sure hate to ruin a keyboard the way I ruined one back at the hospital with a hot, sticky cup of coffee one Saturday while I worked overtime. Somehow, though, I always seem to feel better, in some strange way, after laying my soul bare to the world. Like somehow I’ve gained some sort of cyber-hug by anyone who happens by to read. It’s weird, really, to blog such intensely personal feelings in such a public way. I guess that I have this little glimmer of hope that my writing will find someone who identifies with my feelings. Someone who maybe has the same feelings about their own life, but maybe couldn’t quite express it or just didn’t take the time to write it down.
The book I’ve been reading lately, The Wednesday Sisters, has done that for me. It has expressed beliefs and emotions about life that I have held so very deeply, yet never have quite been able to express myself in such a meaningful and tangible way. It has even drawn me back to the idea that maybe I should write my own book. I don’t know where, exactly I will find the time to write more than a monthly blog article, but I love to write. I really do. I never would have known that growing up, but I’ve developed quite a passion for creative expression through writing. It seems to soothe my soul in ways nothing else can.
Goodness knows I need some soothing right now as I prepare for both of my kids to go off to school this year. Last year the tears on that first day of school were unexpected. I thought I was a big enough girl to handle a little school time away from my first born. But this year there’s no surprise about it. I’ve already started crying buckets, even with school two weeks out. Well, less than two weeks by now. It’s gonna take some serious writing to soothe this mommy’s sadness! I haven’t finished my thoughts on this subject, but it’s time for me to go. I guess I’ll write more later…
